Comments on: On Being Alone http://www.colecamplese.com/2009/02/on-being-alone/ My Place to Write, Share, and Remember Wed, 12 Oct 2011 18:17:22 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Cole Camplese http://www.colecamplese.com/2009/02/on-being-alone/comment-page-1/#comment-47927 Cole Camplese Fri, 13 Feb 2009 18:47:05 +0000 http://www.colecamplese.com/?p=1539#comment-47927 <a href="#comment-47924" rel="nofollow">@ Alan Levine</a> Couldn't agree more -- technology is a crutch for too much. And I am talking about us actually believing it is google, twitter, etc making us dumber (lazier, fatter, whatever) ... it is us. We embrace it and there is no going back. Might as well walk through the door. @ Alan Levine Couldn’t agree more — technology is a crutch for too much. And I am talking about us actually believing it is google, twitter, etc making us dumber (lazier, fatter, whatever) … it is us. We embrace it and there is no going back. Might as well walk through the door.

]]> By: Alan Levine http://www.colecamplese.com/2009/02/on-being-alone/comment-page-1/#comment-47924 Alan Levine Fri, 13 Feb 2009 18:02:30 +0000 http://www.colecamplese.com/?p=1539#comment-47924 Card carrying introvert, INTP. It seem like we grant a lot of power to technology. Does "Google really make us stupid?" or do we manage that ourselves? Do cellphones and Facebook keep us from reading books and taking walks in the woods? C'mon, we are responsible; technology itself is neutral in its influence. Take control. Plus, there is really no puling back on all these influences. The barn door is wide open. Oh. I originally typed this in the back of a cab on an iPhone rather than talking to the driver (the comment got lost in the either, so I am trying to recover it here). Card carrying introvert, INTP.

It seem like we grant a lot of power to technology. Does “Google really make us stupid?” or do we manage that ourselves? Do cellphones and Facebook keep us from reading books and taking walks in the woods? C’mon, we are responsible; technology itself is neutral in its influence. Take control.

Plus, there is really no puling back on all these influences. The barn door is wide open.

Oh.

I originally typed this in the back of a cab on an iPhone rather than talking to the driver (the comment got lost in the either, so I am trying to recover it here).

]]> By: Cole Camplese http://www.colecamplese.com/2009/02/on-being-alone/comment-page-1/#comment-47911 Cole Camplese Fri, 13 Feb 2009 02:04:32 +0000 http://www.colecamplese.com/?p=1539#comment-47911 <a href="#comment-47910" rel="nofollow">@Fred DeCock</a> I'll read the article and revisit this. Thanks for the comment ... I wonder if that will change? I see more and more people of all ages participating. My Mom is never far from her cellphone and my wife's 95 year old grandmother just friended me on facebook. I think that deserves a huge WTF! @Fred DeCock I’ll read the article and revisit this. Thanks for the comment … I wonder if that will change? I see more and more people of all ages participating. My Mom is never far from her cellphone and my wife’s 95 year old grandmother just friended me on facebook. I think that deserves a huge WTF!

]]> By: Fred DeCock http://www.colecamplese.com/2009/02/on-being-alone/comment-page-1/#comment-47910 Fred DeCock Thu, 12 Feb 2009 21:41:16 +0000 http://www.colecamplese.com/?p=1539#comment-47910 Many years ago (pre-cellphone, Facebook, etc.), I had a training class about dealing with stress. The retired Army psychologist teaching the class told us that there was an innate need for solitude, that you must have alone time to recharge your batteries. Some of us need more than others, and that it is important to physical,, mental, emotional and spiritual health. I think it is easier for those of us who were old enough to know the benefits of solitude and continue to seek it out when needed than it is for the generation that is now always connected. Good <a href="http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/pto-19980201-000034.html" rel="nofollow">article from Psychology Today about "The Call of Solitude"</a>, written in 1998, when solitude seemed to start slipping away... Many years ago (pre-cellphone, Facebook, etc.), I had a training class about dealing with stress. The retired Army psychologist teaching the class told us that there was an innate need for solitude, that you must have alone time to recharge your batteries. Some of us need more than others, and that it is important to physical,, mental, emotional and spiritual health. I think it is easier for those of us who were old enough to know the benefits of solitude and continue to seek it out when needed than it is for the generation that is now always connected. Good article from Psychology Today about “The Call of Solitude”, written in 1998, when solitude seemed to start slipping away…

]]> By: April http://www.colecamplese.com/2009/02/on-being-alone/comment-page-1/#comment-47896 April Wed, 11 Feb 2009 21:54:35 +0000 http://www.colecamplese.com/?p=1539#comment-47896 That is a very good point Cole. It certainly does make it more difficult to unplug when being connected is basically a job requirement or if the culture of the organization itself is plugged in like has been in TLT for so many years. Since I moved to Student Affairs, I am not nearly as plugged is as I was when I was in Training, but then again, I am not nearly as stressed out as I was either. That just made me think that maybe the addition of Chris to my life had less to do with why I unplug more now than leaving TLT did. Hmm. That is a very good point Cole. It certainly does make it more difficult to unplug when being connected is basically a job requirement or if the culture of the organization itself is plugged in like has been in TLT for so many years. Since I moved to Student Affairs, I am not nearly as plugged is as I was when I was in Training, but then again, I am not nearly as stressed out as I was either. That just made me think that maybe the addition of Chris to my life had less to do with why I unplug more now than leaving TLT did. Hmm.

]]> By: Allan Gyorke http://www.colecamplese.com/2009/02/on-being-alone/comment-page-1/#comment-47894 Allan Gyorke Wed, 11 Feb 2009 20:52:28 +0000 http://www.colecamplese.com/?p=1539#comment-47894 I won't repeat many of the good comments left here. Personally, I'm an extrovert at heart (especially at work). I love working in a team, brainstorming, helping someone else, teaching, etc... If I had to work alone, I'd quit and find something else. That doesn't mean that I need to constantly be talking with someone. I used to share a large cubicle space with four other people. We would all be working separately, but available to each other as needed. I have to admit that while I have tolerance for response time from most other people, I get frustrated when I can't get in touch with Andrew. We don't have a house line, just cell phones. We don't actually call each other that much, but it's nice to think that I can get in touch with him any time I want (outside of meetings and classes of course). So if I try to reach him for a couple of hours and he doesn't pick up his phone or respond to a text message, it feels a little lonely. Another thought: I don't keep up with all of the blogs, podcasts, and Tweets that I subscribe to. From time to time, I feel really guilty about it because I feel like I'm missing something. By not keeping up, I start falling from the center toward the margins. But I have subscribed to so much that I can't possibly keep up with all of it. So I've begun pruning my subscriptions. I'd never totally pull the plug. I just wish I had more time to finish everything before the new stuff comes in. As a big plus, I'm never bored. I won’t repeat many of the good comments left here. Personally, I’m an extrovert at heart (especially at work). I love working in a team, brainstorming, helping someone else, teaching, etc… If I had to work alone, I’d quit and find something else. That doesn’t mean that I need to constantly be talking with someone. I used to share a large cubicle space with four other people. We would all be working separately, but available to each other as needed.

I have to admit that while I have tolerance for response time from most other people, I get frustrated when I can’t get in touch with Andrew. We don’t have a house line, just cell phones. We don’t actually call each other that much, but it’s nice to think that I can get in touch with him any time I want (outside of meetings and classes of course). So if I try to reach him for a couple of hours and he doesn’t pick up his phone or respond to a text message, it feels a little lonely.

Another thought: I don’t keep up with all of the blogs, podcasts, and Tweets that I subscribe to. From time to time, I feel really guilty about it because I feel like I’m missing something. By not keeping up, I start falling from the center toward the margins. But I have subscribed to so much that I can’t possibly keep up with all of it. So I’ve begun pruning my subscriptions.

I’d never totally pull the plug. I just wish I had more time to finish everything before the new stuff comes in. As a big plus, I’m never bored.

]]> By: Cole Camplese http://www.colecamplese.com/2009/02/on-being-alone/comment-page-1/#comment-47893 Cole Camplese Wed, 11 Feb 2009 20:17:02 +0000 http://www.colecamplese.com/?p=1539#comment-47893 <a href="#comment-47892" rel="nofollow">@ April</a> Depending on who it is, it can be quite negative. Also, there is a degree of, "its part of the job" I think. I signed up to be on the hook for issues most of the time. I think on some levels, unless it is really understood that I am completely unavailable I need to be responsive. That makes unplugging even more complex. @ April Depending on who it is, it can be quite negative. Also, there is a degree of, “its part of the job” I think. I signed up to be on the hook for issues most of the time. I think on some levels, unless it is really understood that I am completely unavailable I need to be responsive. That makes unplugging even more complex.

]]> By: April http://www.colecamplese.com/2009/02/on-being-alone/comment-page-1/#comment-47892 April Wed, 11 Feb 2009 19:59:04 +0000 http://www.colecamplese.com/?p=1539#comment-47892 My question back to you Cole is just because someone requires it or merely expects it, does that mean you must comply (barring any emergencies of course)? Does anyone have the right to expect that you don't disconnected? Is it their expectation that compels you to stay connected and respond or is it the reinforcement whether positive or negative that you are reacting to much like Pavlov's dogs did to those bells all those years ago? My question back to you Cole is just because someone requires it or merely expects it, does that mean you must comply (barring any emergencies of course)? Does anyone have the right to expect that you don’t disconnected? Is it their expectation that compels you to stay connected and respond or is it the reinforcement whether positive or negative that you are reacting to much like Pavlov’s dogs did to those bells all those years ago?

]]> By: Cole Camplese http://www.colecamplese.com/2009/02/on-being-alone/comment-page-1/#comment-47888 Cole Camplese Wed, 11 Feb 2009 18:18:55 +0000 http://www.colecamplese.com/?p=1539#comment-47888 <a href="#comment-47887" rel="nofollow">@ April</a> I think your point of other people influencing connectedness is a good one. I face that every single day. There are emails that come in and no matter what I feel absolutely compelled to respond -- Pavlov would love to know he was right (is that why the new email sound in Apple mail sounds like a bell?). That simple little fact makes me feel like I need to stay connected -- because someone else requires it. @ April I think your point of other people influencing connectedness is a good one. I face that every single day. There are emails that come in and no matter what I feel absolutely compelled to respond — Pavlov would love to know he was right (is that why the new email sound in Apple mail sounds like a bell?). That simple little fact makes me feel like I need to stay connected — because someone else requires it.

]]> By: April http://www.colecamplese.com/2009/02/on-being-alone/comment-page-1/#comment-47887 April Wed, 11 Feb 2009 17:19:26 +0000 http://www.colecamplese.com/?p=1539#comment-47887 When I first read the post the first thing that popped into my mind was that I can be alone in a roomful of people. After I thought about it for a while, I realized that I was thinking about being lonely, not being alone. I think the two things are very different now, but I didn't always. The second thing that popped into my head was how upset people get when I don't immediately reply to an email, text message or I don't answer my cell phone when they think I should. My sister is guilty of this and it drives me crazy. Who says that because you have a device that MAKES you accessible that you have to always BE accessible. I don't think that is in the AT&T contract. Being too connected, makes me anxious even though I am an outgoing person and a talker. When I really started thinking about it, I determined that I am generally not alone very often physically since I started dating my current boyfriend. It's a small house and we have three pets, so there is always a warm body somewhere near me. But I do tune out and shut down outside influences as much as I can to decompress from the week and have quiet time. I hardly ever have IM open when I am at home and I don't really Twitter or use Facebook much either in the evenings or weekends anymore. It wasn't always this way, I used to flip everything on first thing when I got home after work, but now there's someone there to talk to and do things with even if it's just reading separate books together. To be honest, I don't really enjoy being completely alone with my thoughts like I used to as a pre-teen when I read book after book, wrote bad poetry and listened to music that my parents hated with headphones on. I think I spent too much time alone after my divorce to enjoy it and not confuse it with being lonely. I hope someday I will enjoy it again, but maybe without the bad poetry and teenage angst part. When I first read the post the first thing that popped into my mind was that I can be alone in a roomful of people. After I thought about it for a while, I realized that I was thinking about being lonely, not being alone. I think the two things are very different now, but I didn’t always.

The second thing that popped into my head was how upset people get when I don’t immediately reply to an email, text message or I don’t answer my cell phone when they think I should. My sister is guilty of this and it drives me crazy. Who says that because you have a device that MAKES you accessible that you have to always BE accessible. I don’t think that is in the AT&T contract. Being too connected, makes me anxious even though I am an outgoing person and a talker.

When I really started thinking about it, I determined that I am generally not alone very often physically since I started dating my current boyfriend. It’s a small house and we have three pets, so there is always a warm body somewhere near me. But I do tune out and shut down outside influences as much as I can to decompress from the week and have quiet time. I hardly ever have IM open when I am at home and I don’t really Twitter or use Facebook much either in the evenings or weekends anymore. It wasn’t always this way, I used to flip everything on first thing when I got home after work, but now there’s someone there to talk to and do things with even if it’s just reading separate books together.

To be honest, I don’t really enjoy being completely alone with my thoughts like I used to as a pre-teen when I read book after book, wrote bad poetry and listened to music that my parents hated with headphones on. I think I spent too much time alone after my divorce to enjoy it and not confuse it with being lonely. I hope someday I will enjoy it again, but maybe without the bad poetry and teenage angst part.

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